Becoming an antique causes reflection – a sort of after action review (AAR) of the first half of one’s life. One of the big conclusions I arrived at (and this may reveal aspects of my character to you) is that I have failed to do two things. I’ve failed to ride my bike across the U.S., and I’ve failed to hike the Appalachian Trail.
It’s okay, I have the second half of my life to do both, but I feel that my chances are slimmer now because I had fifty years in which to do those things and chose not to. Will I also choose not to during the second fifty? Keeping in mind, of course, that I’m not guaranteed fifty more.
What I do hope to accomplish is to become more faithful. I also want to revel in the experience of being human, the good and the bad. I believe that life should be lived as a good Tolkien adventure. Since we only live once, I want to live out every day of every year as we march through the seasons. The first tender blossomings of spring, the heat of summer, the cool decay of fall, and the death of winter. I’ll best accomplish this through each day by following the Church calendar and a modified monastic schedule.
It is going to be difficult, I know, but this is something I have to do. What choice do I have? I’ve already burned fifty years.